My Heroin
by colormyskyy
Summary: This addiction - it's painful. The sweet feeling running through my veins, it is like no other; it's my ecstasy. It was killing me but I couldn't stop... Nobody can save me. At least that's what I thought.
1. Prologue

_Author's Note: Okay - I know this is completely unreasonable. However, I've lost a lot of inspiration for ILD, and I thought if I wrote another story, I might be able to get out of my writer's confusion. Also - The title for this story is a song by Silverstein, and the lyrics for the summary are from said song._

_Disclaimer: I do not Kingdom Hearts or any of the characters from it. Nor do I own anything else I may use in this fan fiction. _

_Warning: This story contains - yaoi, boy love, strong language, sexual themes, and may or may not use of alcohol/drugs._

_--_

I stared at her unfocused eyes. The usual blinding smile wasn't there. Her hair was matted down, and didn't have that usual shine to it. Her light breathing indicated that she was alive, just not conscious. I'm not sure she'll ever wake up.

I could hear the soft sobs coming from my twin brother. I looked up at him and watched how tears fell from his blue orbs, and cascaded down his cheeks. I willed the stinging feeling in the corner of my eyes to disappear. I peered out of the hospital window, narrowing my eyes when the day just seemed completely perfect. It's almost as if the sky was mocking me. I lowered my gaze away from the window and back to my twin. His eyes were blood-shot, considering we haven't slept in a couple of days. The tear stains were still apparent on his cheeks. His eyes were glazed over with a layer of unshed tears, making my heart break at the sight.

My twin was always the happy, cheerful, bubbly type of person. He was very social with others in a public place. He was practically the complete opposite of me. It's so difficult to look at him now; he was the one who always made you feel better, even though he's excessively hyperactive. He can always put a smile on your face, rather you're sad or not. And to see his usual shit-eating grin replaced with a frown and quivering lip, it made me feel extremely horrible.

As for me - I'm the exact opposite of my twin. I'm a lot more mature than he is. There's so many differences. As he's always chipper, I'm usually very moody all the time. I guess I was the rebellious one. We look just like each other, except that Sora had chocolate brown hair that spiked up in every direction, as I have golden blond hair that's windswept to the left. Our eyes are mainly the same color, except Sora's eyes are a bit darker than mine are.

I snapped out of my reverie as I heard the heart monitor stop beating and go flat line. My eyes widened as a doctor and a few nurses ran into the room, ushering us out of the room, making Sora start sobbing again. I started walking down the stark white hallways of the hospital, Sora in tow. The nurse at the receptionist desk told us to take a seat in the waiting room. Sora and I sat down, he was still crying. I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the cool wall. I heard my twin gasp and touch my face. I pushed his hand away without opening my eyes, becoming confused when I felt something warm and liquidity. I opened both of my eyes and looked down at my hand, realizing I had been crying also.

--

I opened my eyes to the sound of a doctor calling our last names. My drowsiness disappeared as I realized that the doctor was calling _our _last names. I quickly stood up and walked over to the doctor, the hopeful look in my eyes was most likely apparent. I listened to how he explained what happened and what not.

"Is she going to be okay?" I asked, pathetically.

His eyes were apologetic and sorrowful, making my stomach twist into a knot.

"I'm sorry," He started, making me wince. "Your mother has passed away. We tried everything we could, but nothing would work. I'm very sorry for your lost." He said, and hurriedly walked away - most likely not wanting to tell a kid that their mother was gone.

I felt tears start to pour from my eyes; I wasn't even trying to keep my sobs quiet.

She was gone. I'm not going to get home from school and see her smile anymore. I won't get to have her embarrass me in front of my friends anymore. She won't be there to clean up the mess Sora or I have made. Or to cook us some soup when we're sick and home from school. She won't be there to give us strict rules or to do our homework. I never did like following rules, but now it seems so unnatural to not have her here; telling me that talking to strangers is dangerous. Or an immature one - that I have to finish all of my vegetables or I won't get dessert. She treated me like a kid, but I still am one. Whenever I need her help, she won't be there. She'll never be there, ever again.

I guess the saying _is _true.

You never truly know what you have until it's gone.


	2. The Addiction

_Author's Note: Okay, so...I've decided to change the summary to something else instead of the 'My Heroine' lyrics. It didn't really seem to fit my story so I'm changing it, it still might be similar but not completely based off the song. I hope you enjoy the first chapter!_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of the characters from it. Nor do I own anything else I may use in this fan fiction unless I state otherwise. _

_Warnings: This story contains – yaoi, boy love, language, sexual themes, and use of alcohol/drugs. You've been warned._

* * *

**_Chapter One.  
_**_**The Addiction.**_

**_

* * *

_**

My world had slowly crumbled down. Everything I ever knew had been taken away from me – well – us. Why did fate choose us to live in this cruel world? I would never wish this on someone else but why us? The cruel, uncaring world took one of the most important things from me. My guiding light. The woman who brought me into this world. The one person who would never judge me.

My mother.

I could feel the stinging feeling in the corner of my eyes as I looked down at pictures of her. There were so many...old and new. Every photo was at least four months old. Which was when she...passed away. She had been very sick for awhile now. She had bone cancer and it slowly killed her. We should have been expecting it but it just felt so surreal to think of her gone.

And I'm so selfish. I'm always wrapped up in my own inner turmoil that I never noticed my brothers. So the day he had a breakdown – I was surprised to say the least. He cried about how he missed her and how it wasn't the same without her. And then he got angry and yelled at me for being selfish and not caring about anyone's feelings apart from my own.

I can't say that I disagree.

Anyways; we had a huge blown out argument. And well...we don't talk much anymore. My brother – Sora – lives with his boyfriend, Riku. He's a nice guy and everything, we just don't talk much.

And me? I live in the rundown part of town. You know, robberies, breaking and entering, _murders_. That kind of thing. I share a one bedroom apartment with my best friend – at least I think so – Hayner. It's almost as though I live by myself, considering he's never here. Except for during the day, when we both sleep.

I looked down at the pictures of her. She was so beautiful. Her bright cerulean eyes just seemed to shine with intense happiness. Her caramel colored hair was tied into a loose, messy bun. A sweet, motherly smile adorned her features, her laugh lines showing. Just looking at pictures of her brought back so many memories. Good and painful ones.

I was broken out of my reminiscent by the shrilling sound of the phone. I didn't answer, I never did. The answering machine picked up, a gruff voice coming from the other line. It was the manager of where we lived. He was wanting this months rent. That was money that I did not have. We were most likely going to get kicked out. I couldn't get my roommate to help with the payment, he was always zoned out and never comprehended what I say.

I picked myself off the floor, leaving pictures and old photo books laying there. I picked up what I needed from the kitchen table and headed towards the bathroom. It was a small bathroom that hardly gave any room to breathe. I shut the door behind me and leaned against it, sliding down to the floor. It wasn't the most sanitary thing ever but I could care less.

The utensil in my hand had become a lifeline for me. If I was without it, I wouldn't be sane. It was a daily habit. I couldn't stop – not even if I wanted to. I tried to keep my breathing even as I pricked the syringe into my skin, prodding at my vein. The syringe had already been filled with the substance earlier, so no work for me. I felt the warmness spread throughout me, the safe-feeling yet so terribly _dangerous _blanket covered me, it was bliss.

My sight was hazy, I was getting noticeably drowsy. As if I could sleep a century. My eyelids became too heavy, so I let them flutter shut. Thinking was too difficult right now, so I let myself drift off to some land. A far away one; where nothing bad ever happened. Of course, it was only a dream.

_Dreams._

_Nightmares._

_They're so different, yet so much alike._

* * *

_A/N: Woo! Although it's a short one, it's still a chapter! I'll try and get the other one out as soon as possible! I have no idea when that will be, though. (: _

_R&R. _

_-Candy-Chan._


End file.
